a post about homeschooling, but really about parenthood

Random title I know, but I’m feeling uninspired tonight.  And not sure if I’ll keep this post up for long.  haha

Last night, we ran a few errands together as a family.  So this is not a pictureless post, here are the kids playing on the mowers at Home Depot. :)Instead of going home for a dinner of leftovers or sandwiches, we opted for Burger King (the super small play area is perfect for O, minus the germs).  After eating, there was another cute family there with their 3 kiddos and we all starting chatting.  Well, the dad started chatting with us as the mom was still feeding their youngest outside the play area.

He said we looked familiar, so we asked a few questions and while we didn’t know each other, church came up.  After asking where we go, and establishing that Owen was almost 3, the next question out of his mouth was, “So, are you going to home school then?”

The question really took me aback.  I mean, I knew the questions about school were coming as we approached three.  And I’ve actually been starting to research quite a bit about what we might do.  And I have a whole other post about my thoughts about homeschooling.  And I’m actually leaning that way.  But to assume that since we go to church, I would home school, definitely caught me unprepared for how to answer him.  I fumbled for an answer, made a little more small talk, took his wife’s email in case I had any “questions” about home schooling, and got out of there.

So here’s my little soapbox.  Just because I love Jesus does not mean that you can assume that I will home school.  Nor does is mean that I will send them to private or public school.  Loving Jesus doesn’t mean that I breastfeed my babies or co-sleep.  Loving Jesus also doesn’t mean I bottle feed or love the crib.  Loving Jesus doesn’t mean that I absolutely spank.  Or that I only use time outs.  Loving Jesus doesn’t mean that I’m a stay at home mom.  Or a million other things that look so different for every family.

I love Jesus.  And my kids.  And what that means for me is asking Him what’s best for William, myself, Owen and Ellison.  It’s me asking what fits for our family - at this time, with these resources of time, energy, and money, and in this current space in life.  So people, come on.  Stop judging what all the other families are doing or feeling bad that you’re not doing something like them.  Love Jesus.  Love your kids.  Pretty sure that’s the only “parenting rule” that’s in the Bible.

/steps off soap box

Goodbye Pacifier!

Well, as I mentioned in my last post, Owen had decided that he is done with his pacifier.  He hasn’t touched it since coming home from Peoria last week so we wanted to make it official today!

Let me back up first.  Owen went through a long phase of adoring these videos.  I have warned you before that they’re not the best videos out there, but for some reason he adores them. 

In one of the movies, a mouse from the Moon comes to earth to get some cheese for all the moon mice.  They have to get back to the moon and decide to put huge balloons on the bus and it floats them back to the moon.  This was our inspiration for how to say goodbye to Owen’s beloved pacifier.  He adores looking for the moon when going to bed, so we pumped him up for about a week about sending the moon his paci.

Today after I got my hair cut, I went to Schnucks and grabbed some awesome Christmas decor at 75% off some balloons for O.  Ellie about had a heart attack when she saw them.  Unless they were in her hands, she was crying.

Owen had a pretty good fever all day (out of the blue) but decided he was still up for saying goodbye.   So he picked out a moon picture he liked and we printed out a little note to attach in case they landed in someone’s yard. Then we got bundled up and headed outside!He gave his pacifier one last kiss. And then we counted backwards from 5 and he let go.  I was shocked he held on for the 5 seconds.  :)Up, up and away!Then, we frantically prayed that they would clear the power lines.  There was a pretty strong wind today going sideways so the balloons didn't head straight up.  But, whew they made it!William had bought Owen 2 special trucks in the clearance aisle at Wal-Mart  for being such a big boy and saying goodbye to his pacifier!  He’s growing up. *tear*

crying it out

I thought cry it out meant the baby was supposed to cry, not the momma. But alas, I must admit to crying some big ol' tears.

But let me back up.

I have always been pro-cry it out (CIO). I used it during my many years of babysitting and scoffed (yes, I've repented) at moms who said they just couldn't let their kids cry. Then I had Owen and ate every single one of those words. It's a different story when it's the baby you carried IN you for 9 (10) months that is screaming and when you know that you're the one thing that could calm them down quickly. And on my quest for sleep answers and reading the 20+ books I did, many of them talk about the major consequences of doing CIO, the main one being trust. Even in the book I really like, The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems, Hogg says that if you try CIO, you will have to go to extreme measures to earn the trust of your baby back. There is so much written out there (especially in the blog world) on both sides of this method. And most people are passionate about the side of the camp they fall in.

So what's a momma to do when her precious babe just isn't getting the sleep she knows he needs? She follows her mommy-gut. I was trying to explain this to a mommy-to-be at her shower this weekend. Mommy-gut is that stuff you somehow just KNOW when you have a baby. It comes from being the one person that knows your baby the best. And I'm hoping my mommy-gut also comes a lot from the Holy Spirit since he's way smarter about all this than I am. Every momma has a different mommy-gut. And not one single mom's is better than another. That's why we all raise our kids differently and find that some things that work for others don't work at all for us or our little ones.

So to get to my point, I felt that Owen was just ready to do this. He's exhausted and so am I. So I looked around me at some families who I know have done CIO. They have happy, well-adjusted children who adore them and from what I can tell, trust them completely. So this past week, I've asked a bunch of questions, gotten some great advice, and decided to jump in. Last night you could find me curled up outside his door, with my video monitor and my phone being used as a timer, crying right along with my little guy. And the 2nd round of sleep training begins. . .