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Monday, November 8, 2010

crying it out

I thought cry it out meant the baby was supposed to cry, not the momma. But alas, I must admit to crying some big ol' tears.

But let me back up.

I have always been pro-cry it out (CIO). I used it during my many years of babysitting and scoffed (yes, I've repented) at moms who said they just couldn't let their kids cry. Then I had Owen and ate every single one of those words. It's a different story when it's the baby you carried IN you for 9 (10) months that is screaming and when you know that you're the one thing that could calm them down quickly. And on my quest for sleep answers and reading the 20+ books I did, many of them talk about the major consequences of doing CIO, the main one being trust. Even in the book I really like, The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems, Hogg says that if you try CIO, you will have to go to extreme measures to earn the trust of your baby back. There is so much written out there (especially in the blog world) on both sides of this method. And most people are passionate about the side of the camp they fall in.

So what's a momma to do when her precious babe just isn't getting the sleep she knows he needs? She follows her mommy-gut. I was trying to explain this to a mommy-to-be at her shower this weekend. Mommy-gut is that stuff you somehow just KNOW when you have a baby. It comes from being the one person that knows your baby the best. And I'm hoping my mommy-gut also comes a lot from the Holy Spirit since he's way smarter about all this than I am. Every momma has a different mommy-gut. And not one single mom's is better than another. That's why we all raise our kids differently and find that some things that work for others don't work at all for us or our little ones.

So to get to my point, I felt that Owen was just ready to do this. He's exhausted and so am I. So I looked around me at some families who I know have done CIO. They have happy, well-adjusted children who adore them and from what I can tell, trust them completely. So this past week, I've asked a bunch of questions, gotten some great advice, and decided to jump in. Last night you could find me curled up outside his door, with my video monitor and my phone being used as a timer, crying right along with my little guy. And the 2nd round of sleep training begins. . .

2 comments:

  1. Stay strong Mama!!! I always tell people that I was the perfect parent...until I had my own kids. I have eaten so many of my words!
    We cried it out with our first, and it was the hardest, but it worked and she does love and trust us! :) Your a better mommy when you are well rested, so it's really a gift to Owen. What they don't say in the books is that we all sit outside the door crying at first.
    Praying for you all!

    ReplyDelete
  2. How's it going sister? Thinking about yout and praying for you all!

    Love from me!

    ReplyDelete

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